I know I’ve been pretty silent lately. My work, my world, has held me captive for so long that I haven’t really had much time for play or anything fun. But, all work and no play equals no fun, so you better believe that my sex drive and horniness has turned up ten degrees!
To recap what happened with my ex, The Rebel, we hooked up back in November and rekindled our sex lives with one another. He broke the news to me that he was a bi-sexual man banging this much older dude. I wasn’t sure what to do with that bit, so, I simply accepted it. No lie, I was freaked out at first. Almost grossed out thinking of another big, thick penis pressing into his anus and his head thrown back in ecstasy. That’s the image that popped into my mind when he told me. Then I thought about the handful of times I’ve fucked a girl and realized — you know, it’s no different. I bang girls, he bangs boys, we bang each other. I could deal with that.
I am nothing if not fair. And it simply isn’t fair for me to judge him or discriminate him for being attracted to guys. He later explained that his attraction to men is more of an emotional connection than a sexual one. He actually doesn’t like to engage in anal penetration, but he’s totally down for getting blown. I’m okay with that. The terms of our current relationship are:
- OPEN. What boundaries? Went on a date with someone else? Fantastic! Fucked another man or woman? Great! Tell me all about it! In fact, can I watch?
- HONEST. Don’t lie to me, don’t play me. We’re cool as long as we’re up front and honest about our love lives and sex lives. Safety first, after all.
…And that’s it. There are no other rules. A very open-ended, flexible relationship!
Which suits me just fine these days. Why? Because I suddenly find myself absolutely craving women. My fantasies are getting out of control recently. I’ve been jonesing to watch another couple have sex, live and in person. I want to see that live porn happen, right in front of me. I wonder if I might want to jump in and join in on the fun, or if I’d be content to watch two people enjoy each other. I fantasize about group sex – threesomes, orgies, gangbangs, sex parties. I wonder about the anonymous sex… and then I worry about the dangers of partaking in such pervy behavior. In my head, the threesomes always change. Two men and me, a couple and me, me and two women, even me and a friend swapping with a couple. Sometimes with an audience, sometimes without.
Lately, this is all that runs through my head. I think I just might be thisclose to sex-starved. Nevermind that me and The Rebel got it on last weekend. Somehow my body needs – craves – more. And in all my fantasies, it’s a woman that I find myself lusting after.
Anyone else’s sex drive skyrocket recently? Tell me about it. Tell me what you fantasize about by leaving me a comment or sending me an IM! (AIM sn: x3muse)
xoxo,
–A.
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