Ten Degrees Hotter

I know I’ve been pretty silent lately.  My work, my world, has held me captive for so long that I haven’t really had much time for play or anything fun.  But, all work and no play equals no fun, so you better believe that my sex drive and horniness has turned up ten degrees!

Wrapping up ‘08

It’s 2009, and my inconsistent blogging habits are coming back to bite me in the asscheeks.  See, I’ve been meaning to write to you.  I really have.  But in the days following the Great Turkey Pigout, and my admission that I wanted to be The Kid’s girlfriend, things changed… rapidly.

But first, let’s recap this like an episode of The Hills.

Mission: Spread the Love

I suppose it seems things have calmed down in the life of Tif & Aubrey.  This is not true.  I’m presently being tempted into commitment by my stronger-than-expected feelings for The Kid, but Tif is dealing with stuff right now and thus, I have taken it upon myself to take on Mission: Spread the Love.

See, this all started because about three or four weeks ago, I managed to blurt out, “So, I’ve made a decision… at some point, I’d like to be your girlfriend.”  Naturally, this comment came out of my mouth after a particularly enjoyable sex sesh.  I had noticed that my feelings for the Kid were growing, but I hadn’t realized that up until I said that sentence out loud, how badly I wanted the title — and the commitment that comes with it.

It surprised me that all the thinking I had been doing leading up to that moment had drawn that conclusion in my head.  I was conscious of the fact that I had been wrestling, frequently, with whether or not I could overlook our incredible differences.  Could I dismiss the fact that we differ politically or that we can’t even find common ground when it comes to the existence of God, let alone religion or the possible merits of having a religious education?  Then, I was looking at the similarities he has with The Rebel, who had called me weeks prior just to tell me that he loved me.  (But, might I clarify, he is not in love with me.  Though, of course, he didn’t say.)

Apparently, I could.  I want him enough to say, “Fuck the rest.  I want to be with you, and if you want to be with me, we can figure this out.”

And then, I started to notice, that admission led to me being so very open and vulnerable to The Kid.  So much more than before… and then I was falling… I was getting protective, clingy — at least, in my head, it felt that way.  I wanted to spend more time with him, in fact, I craved time with him.  I invited him to meet my friends (and wow, did I bombard him there, but he passed my friends with flying colors!), and I brought him out to meet coworkers and my Boy BFF Xander.

But then I started to wrestle with my insecurities because the Kid doesn’t call often, scarcely initiates texts or us hanging out.  I never seem to question his affection when we’re together, but when we’re apart!  Oh, I wish he’d at least text or call to say hello.  It’s driven me a bit nuts because I feel as if I’m falling for him faster than he’s falling for me.  I started to rationalize then: well, the reason for this is because I’m pretty focused on him alone.  If I dated other people simultaneously, I would then not be so attached to him alone.

And that was when I made the decision: perhaps it’s time, two years later, that I can manage to give the Rebel what he wants – dinner, friendship, and an open door to go from there.

The low-down skinny on Aubrey

Alright, alright.  Life has been a bit of a whirlwind for the last little while, which is why you haven’t heard too much out of me lately.  I wanted to do a separate post for everything that’s been going on, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get you guys caught up.  So, I figure I’ll just give it to you all at once.

You can take it, right?

• Status Update on the Kid: I thought we were dunzo.  After all, it had been, what, a week? Two?  Incommunicado.  But in one online conversation, he blurted out, “I don’t mean to neglect you like this, you know.” Choosing my words carefully, I asked him what he meant by that.  He explained that he’d been feeling kind of withdrawn lately, and he explained that it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with his own mental space.  Alright, I could understand that.  I’ve been there before.  I can be broody too, you know?  So I asked him if I was going to see him again.  He replied in the affirmative, and we made plans to hang out this past week.  In fact, since the ‘rents are out of town, I’ve got free reign to do as I please (and whomever I please), so I took him up on it.  He admitted to having a tendency to jump into relationships, then freak out once he found himself in said relationship.  I wasn’t sure why he was telling me that, considering the fact that I hadn’t even bothered to push for a relationship.  In fact, I had been ready to accepting the premature death of a potential relationship.  But we didn’t really get into the subject, as we busied ourselves with dinner and a DVD.  I don’t think I’ve mentioned it, but the Kid is a Cuddler.  I don’t mind being affectionate, primarily behind closed doors, but sometimes it can be slightly uncomfortable, sitting there with a guy’s arm propped up behind your head, your sweaty palm entwined with his sweaty palm…  And his couch (which isn’t one of those omg-I-just-want-to-curl-up-and-fall-asleep-on-this couches, but more of those, I’m-proper-and-sitting-straight couches, really isn’t one of the most comfortable places to cuddle up in.  Maybe I’m less of a cuddler than I thought.  Who knows.  All I know is this: I’m beginning to seriously question our sexual compatibility (more on that in a later post).
• Summary of my trip to the Gyno: My trip to the gyno was for the standard Pap Smear, STD testing, and a birth control prescription.  Since it’d been a while since my last complete physical, she decided to do a fully work up on me — blood and all.  I had requested a pregnancy test, and they determined that no, I wasn’t preggo (thank God), but yes, I did have a small bit of blood in my urine.  I was informed that it’s likely that I have a small urinary tract infection.  Lovely.  This is not news to me, as I’ve had UTIs before, usually after having sex.  I’m not sure why, but that seems to be the most frequent trigger.  They prescribed me some antibiotics along with my NuvaRing, and I chatted more to my gyno.  She was recommended by a friend of mine, so I had to go through my whole history with her.  When she discovered that my cycle was highly irregular (I mean, c’mon, I’ve had my period twice in the last two years), she asked me a couple more questions before asking if I had ever been tested for PCOS.  Poly-who what?!  Polycystic ovary syndrome.  It means I might have cysts on my ovaries.  Fan-fucking-tastic.  I hear it might not be that big of a deal, but I haven’t had much of a chance to really read up on it yet, and she hasn’t confirmed whether or not I really have PCOS yet.  I’ll find out when I go back to hear my results on October 3rd.  I’ll definitely keep you informed on my STI-or-STD check and the PCOS thing.  Needless to say, I’m not exactly thrilled.
• Status Update on the Saint: He’s finally starting to settle into some of the life changes going on with him, and I’m finally starting to see him as just a good friend.  I still email him at least once a week, just to give him an update on my life.  Thankfully, he finds it interesting rather than annoying.  But due to his busy schedule, he doesn’t usually get back to me on what’s going on with him until the weekend.  I’m very disappointed to see this potential forever man drift more into the background.
• Status Update on the Rebel: OMG.  The Rebel needs to have his own post.  A bulletpoint really can’t do this story justice.  Remember when I told you he called and interrupted a little sumptin’ sumptin’?  Well, now he’s gone ahead and interrupted my whole life.  My mistake was thinking that giving him an impromptu call would be harmless.  And while one can argue that it ultimately was fairly harmless, the truth is, our conversation has been on my mind all week long.  That’s how BIG it was.  And that’s why it needs it’s own post.

Until next time,

-A.

New Hottie Alert in the workplace

Alright, I am so super far behind as far as updating you goes.  I still have to tell you about my conversation with the Kid, my past with the Rebel, the trip to the gyno, and the latest weekend update!  I just haven’t even had time to breathe these last couple weeks, being as swamped as I am at work.

But today, just now, actually, when I ran down to the little snack shop, I saw a very, very beautiful male specimen.  He wasn’t wearing a name tag, and I was gabbing on the phone about plans with a close family friend, Sunny, for this coming weekend.  Again, he was a short white boy with broad shoulders, a close haircut, with sculpted bronze arms.  I have a thing for his kind.

I noticed him as soon as I walked in, then snuck a few peeks over the chip display to spy on his body once again.  Wow, I thought, trying to listen carefully to Sunny’s talk of party buses, San Diego, and barbecues.  I grabbed a drink, walked up to the hottie, and explained that I was entitled to a staff discount.  He scanned my item, then ran the lazer scanner up and down my chest.  (I happened to be wearing a sorority sweater of mine, bearing designer fabric in the shape of Greek letters.)

Um, what are you doing?  I thought.  “Wanted to see if they’d ring up?” I joked.

“No, I just… being goofy.” he said with a careless shrug.  He didn’t even look me in the eye.

Um, okay.  I gabbed on, stuffed my wallet with my change and left as quickly as I could before I said something retarded.

This is usually how my brushes with hotness go.  I spot them, then try not to say anything stupid before I scurry away, terrified.  LOL.  So much for me being suave.

As soon as I get a chance, I’ll update you on the rest of my life.  Trust me, last night, things got interesting.

-A.

Universe, why do you hate me?

Alright, it isn’t true.  The Universe does not, I hope, hate me.  I am just feeling particularly beat from a very trying week in the office where both politics and frustration flowed in an out of our doors as quickly as the clients themselves.  Awful, awful week in the office.  I’ve kept my eyes peeled for the Hollister Model Lookalike to show up again, but no such luck.  Instead, I was distracted by the following occurances:

• The Saint and I had a decent chat over the weekend — all good, clean, safe topics.  Just what you’d expect from someone I’ve nicknamed “the Saint”.  But on Tuesday, I tried to up the ante a bit.  I tried to be real slick, see?  In the middle of him talking about how annoyed he got by his ex-girlfriend’s recent, and frequently repeated calls, I said, “So, if I promise not to call you eight billion times in a row, would you mind if I called you sometime?  After all, we’re eventually going to meet over lunch and lemon water!” Now, the lemon water reference is an inside joke, and however lame the line might actually seem to you, I assure you I meant for it to be kind of light teasing and cute, dammit.  You know what I got as a reply?  “Lemon water?” Ummm… seriously?  You can’t be that dense.  You have a friggin’ Master’s degree.  You’ve been through a very, very rigorous program at a prestigious private university.  You really can’t be serious.  I explained the lemon water reference, which he claimed to remember, but then he went radio silent.  “So… should I take that to mean that you aren’t comfortable with giving out your number?” For once, I was forced to be upfront about what I was after.  I rarely, if ever, bluntly state what it is I’m looking for, though I can sometimes be impressed to do so.  In this case, with the Saint, I do my best to keep things… even and without pressure.  He launched into what became a slightly awkward, albeit mildly embarrassing but swift, polite, and careful decline to give me his number.  And he justified this no-number-giving with a story.  One that related to his ex-girlfriend, the woman whose shadow still affects almost every action he takes, despite his supposed desire to be free of her.  If I ever meet her, I swear I’m going to kick her for the number she did on him.  She’s absolutely ruined a good chunk of him for all future potential girlfriends, thanks to her not-irreparable-but-super-hard-to-fix-anyway damage.  As he politely begged off, still claiming to know that his answer and action is “irrational”, I told him I understood.  But of course I was wounded, slightly.  Not heartbroken, just… sad.  My best guy friend, Xander, understood it perfectly well when I stated this, claiming that I was partially pained because I recognized something in the Saint that is also part of me — scars.  The marks of abuse by someone less deserving that mar the innocence and beauty of someone pure, whole, and deserving of every happiness.  Here he was, hurt and still trying to recover.  I hate her, that ex who ruined him.
• The Halfsie offended me this week without really trying to.  In the midst of some harmless flirting, he stated that he “wasn’t sure” if he would be able to “handle” me since he’s never been with a “bigger girl” before.  Wow.  That one sort of blindsided me, as I wasn’t expecting him to say something so ambiguously … rude?  I mean, I get that he was trying to be sensitive about it and put it as delicately as possible, but just because I happen to not be a stick-thin model does not make me any less sexually appealing.  We’re friends, the Halfsie and I.  If we’re not going to be friends that screw, then at least graciously bow out in favor of minding our friendship.  Instead, the Halfsie goes on to ask if I’ve ever had a problem messing around because I’m less of a stick, and more of a healthy, voluptuous female.  So, was that supposed to be an insult?  I really felt that he was asking to be… curious, and not rude, but it still kind of rubbed me the wrong way.  I informed him that no, I had never had a problem getting it on because I’m not a stick.
• As for the Kid, he’s been radio silent for a while.  I thought, at first, that perhaps my little last-minute talk about “hey, I don’t care if you bone other bitches” kind of scared him off.  However, that didn’t seem to be the case.  When I caved and called him up, he answered and seemed pleasant enough, if somewhat detached.  So, over the course of the next few days, I just let him be.  I figured, well, somehow I messed that up and it’s over and done.  At least it wasn’t messy or drawn out or, God forbid, complicated.  But then, TIF and I were kind of wrapped up in a lot of stuff in our real lives (which would account for our recent silence), and I didn’t think much about it.  Work got to be high stress, and my evenings were dedicated to entertainment (TIF and I were playing hostess more than anything).  And then, he texted me.  Something short and random, about how the weather was in Colorado.  I hadn’t even known he’d gone on a business trip!  Well, then we got to talking again… and that led us to today’s conversation… which, I’ll have to save for tomorrow [sorry].  (So I guess the universe doesn’t hate me that much…)
• Then, there’s the Cyber Guy.  Prior to me getting super busy with real life, we had a nice little online flirtation going on.  One that batted around the possibility of maybe meeting up and getting it on.  I like not really knowing for sure if we’re really going to recreate online fantasies, but I find the idea enticing enough to make me toy with the idea a bit.  For now, that’s just a distant possibility.

There have been other things going on that I ought to tell you about, but I haven’t had the chance to blog it yet!  For example, I’ve visited the gyno since I last blogged about my life.  I definitely need to blog about that, and I’ve got to tell you about the last conversation I had with the Kid, and the conversaion I had with TIF about orgies!  I just… as usual… don’t have the time just yet.

Ooh, but fun fact this week?  TIF & I will pay a visit to Mysterioso’s work, and follow it up with a sleepover!  We’re going to have a blast!  Whoo!

When I first started writing this, I was pretty focused on what I will now and forever call the Phone Number Fiasco.  I’m still bummed about it, but I won’t dwell on it now.  I can’t wait for the Saint forever, you know…

So THAT’s what Mysterioso wants!

…to fuck me.

Well, I could’ve told you that I knew this from the beginning since Mysterioso HAS been forward as hell about it.. but then again, there is a hint that he MAY have wanted more than just to fuck me.  But after our IM conversation ended abruptly just now, he might’ve changed his mind.

So I signed onto my IM and saw that he was on, and was debating with Aubrey about whether to IM him or not until coming to the conclusion that I would wait for him to initiate the conversation (since it has always been the other way around so far).  And to my surprise, he actually DID message me first with a hello.  The conversation started off normal enough..

Now wait a second, did I forget to mention that last week I sent him a horny text message requesting him to come over and fuck me?  Yes, I totally left that out.  Anyway, that’s a little back-story that should explain how the conversation led directly to talk about why he didn’t come over.

I tried to shrug it off as a FLUKE occurrence, that I was just extremely (yes, EXTREMELY) horny and it was not something that I’d normally offer up so easily.  Because really, that’s what it WAS!  He looked totally hot that night when I saw him and I wanted to just jump on him SO badly.. It would have been hot and fucking delicious.   But then.. all the news of the following day’s events flooded my brain, and I felt guilty for him thinking that the offer is still there when I’m on a mandatory no-humping dry spell.

The conversation proceeded something like this (I paraphrased.. it was a long IM):

Mysterioso:  then put legs on my shoulders and go real deep
and hard

Mysterioso: kiss your neck and ear suck on your bottom lip

Mysterioso: look into your eyes and go real deep

[I come to the realization that Mysterioso is IN THE MOOD (reference to our blog title haha)]

the incurable flirt:  are you trying to cyberfuck me?

Mysterioso:  watch you touch yourself as i pound away

Mysterioso:  flip you over on top

Mysterioso:  so you ride it and grind on it

Mysterioso:  i can kiss that sexy ass stomach of yours

Mysterioso:  lick your nipples

Mysterioso:  grab your ass

Mysterioso:  lean over and kiss you over your shoulder

Mysterioso:  fuck you harder and harder

[enter more progressively graphic yet awesome sex talk here]

Yes so after discussing it with Aubrey, I’ve realized that I got CYBER RAPED!  Well, it’s not like I didn’t enjoy reading it and getting turned on by it.. but I just feel so guilty because my downstairs is out of order at this point in time.  Not only that, but also the fact that I already have such a great fuck going with Particular Guy.  Particular Guy and I just came to an agreement, after our adventures in catching the Clap, that we would be down to just fuck each other exclusively.

And then there goes life, waving extra juicy candy in front of my face yet again, in the hot from of Mysterioso himself.

So after he invited me to “hang out with him” in a few days from now, upon which I attempted to slickly decline (I didn’t pull it off quite the way I had wanted to)… he proceeded to say stuff along the lines of ‘WTF you got me all worked up and now you’re saying you can’t?’  I tried to tell him why.. the REAL reason why.. I was just in the beginnings of being completely honest about my situation, then he SIGNED OFF.  And didn’t return.  All I got in was that something happened the day after I sent that text message, and that it affected me and my ability to fuck.  Then he was gone.  So……. Aubrey says I just blueballed him and that he must be thinking me to be a tease.  I’m debating about whether or not to bother emailing or calling him to explain, or if I’ll just let it be and wait for him to be available on IM again.  Though waiting is probably what I’ll end up doing because I don’t really have the energy to deal with it right now.

After getting tested again and making sure that I’m clean, the question is this: Do I really want to open the door between my legs to Mysterioso as well?  Obviously, by the way that he was cyberfucking me, we’d have a jolly fun time in the sack together.  And he’s definitely HOT.. but the health risk factor might be high with him.  I don’t know him that well, and generally speaking, I just don’t know.. I’d need to have a sit-down talk with him to see what’s up, if he’s been tested, all that fun stuff.  We’d definitely be using rubbers, and ideally we would be honest with each other once any new partner(s) enter the picture.

Moral to the story?  As Aubrey has pointed out… Cybersex is NOT dead.  HA!

-the incurable flirt

Hey who would’ve thought it.. I actually AM a dirty slut!

So I can’t help but see the irony out of this whole fucking situation and even though it’s BAD news, it’s not the end of the world and therefore we shall laugh about it!

Let’s start at the beginning:

Last week, I went in for an appointment with good ol’ Planned Parenthood to get tested for STD’s and get some birth control (hooray for the NuvaRing, might I add).  The nurse tells me that they can only test me for Chlamydia and Gonorrhea since this is a Planned Parenthood “express” appointment, with symptoms-free testing.  After receiving my rings and setting up a future pap appointment to test for everything else, the nurse says with optimism, “If we don’t call you by around Friday, everything’s normal…. NO news is good news.”

[I'm guessing that you can see where this post is going...]

So there I am, all happy to be on birth control so that I could have babies-free sexcapades with The Particular Guy, feeling carefree and wonderful.. Then I get the voice message. “Hello this is ________ calling  from Planned Parenthood.. could you please give us a call back as soon as possible?”

UHHH….

Okay, okay.. that means I HAVE SOMETHING.  I try my best not to completely flip out as walk to my car and do my best to not start panicking.  The anxiety and thoughts running through my head were awful.  I have SOMETHING. oh my god. oh my god… I’ve only been single for about 5 minutes and i CAUGHT SOMETHING.  What the fuck did I get??  Holy shit…

I get to the car, shut the door, and bring myself to make the phone call.  I get in touch with the doctor [breathe, just breathe]

“Oh, here’s your chart.  Ohhhhh… Well.. [long pause] So as you know, we ran some tests on you for STD’s, and you tested positive for Chlamydia.  Are you familiar with what Chlamydia is?”

[insert mild/moderate/severe panic here]

“Uh yes I remember learning about it in school.. is that something that goes away??”

“Well, if you don’t get it treated right away, there are possible complications in the future that could lead to uterine problems or even cancer.  It’s treatable…”

“No, but does it go away?  Is it CURABLE?”

“Yes, if you get treated now, it’ll clear up.”

I breathed a giant sigh of relief and I think I said out loud “Oh thank fucking god!!” Then the doctor gives me some more information about my condition over the phone-  No sex for 2 weeks (to let the infection clear up and I have the option to buy the antibiotics for my partner because he definitely has it too). I need to go back to the clinic and get re-tested in 3 months to see if I still have it.

HOLYMOTHERFUGGG.  so.. I’m relieved yet also in absolute SHOCK.  I agree to go down to the clinic right that second so that I can pick up the antibiotics (for both me AND Particular Guy) and start the treatment.  Now I can’t help but recall reading the DD’s experience, and I am kicking myself for finding myself in the same boat.  Given, I’m retarded and I didn’t use a condom while she has used a condom every time.. but I still didn’t find it likely that I’d catch something after having sex with two guys (err not simultaneously).

So.. the dreaded phone calls to The Friend and Particular Guy.  Embarrassing as it was, it was also extremely necessary to alert them of the situation.  The Friend is busy at work, and says he’ll call me back.  I end up text messaging him the news – “Uh so I just got tested for STD’s and I have something, but it’s CURABLE.  You need to get tested and treated right away if you have it.” He responds with a shocked text “Wow.. what is it” and we go back and forth a bit about it.  He seems to take it well and doesn’t sound all that surprised (hmm, is HE the one that gave it to me??).  I’ll have to follow up with him soon and double check if he got tested/treated yet.  As for Particular Guy, I texted him that he needed to “call me back, it’s kind of urgent”.  What a mood kill after playful texts earlier that day, about screwing on his desk again soon.  2 weeks.  Damn me.

So I’m waiting to be seen (it’s going to take an hour, maybe an hour and a half.  GREAT…), and Particular Guy calls me so I go outside to break the news to him.  He sounds.. I don’t know at first.  I tell him all the facts, and try to emphasize that it’s NOT life-threatening, nor a permanent virus, and I do my best to be light-hearted while telling him everything.  I tell him that I’ll take care of getting his antibiotics for him, and I’ll meet him up that night so that he can take it right away.  And after I had awhile to let everything sink in, that I’m not about to die, that I don’t have something permanent.. I came to a selfish yet practical realization – I can’t have sex for 2 fucking weeks once I take those pills.  Enter my completely legit proposition to Particular Guy for “1 last hoorah” before we both take the medication.  After hanging up, we joke a bit back and forth via text

“One last time.. there may be something to that….”

“I hope that I’ll be able to keep myself from laughing my ass off if you call me dirty slut tonight”

“Trust me, I will [winking face]“

“Dude!  The doctor was pretty hot… I’m betting that any attempts on my part to hit on her would not have been all that slick though, since I was there, getting meds for Chlamydia LOL”

So things are feeling okay, though I’m still shocked… still in mild disbelief that I caught something so fast.  That it happened to ME.  Being single is SCARY now, at least when it comes to STD’s and the high risk involved with being an extremely horny (and attractive) woman.  There’s REAL DANGERS.  …shitty.

If I get around to it, I’ll add a post about the amazing humpage that we proceeded to have that night… stay tuned for that one.  We-both-have-the-clap-and-therefore-must-fuck-one-last-time-fucking was right up there with kinky-fantasy-office sex.  Yum.

Let’s cut to the end of our lesson, the moral of the story, if you will:  you don’t need to do it with 10 dudes to catch something, not even 3.  i had 2 sexual partners after my long-term relationship ended.  if i can get it, YOU can get it.  aside from some uncomfortable urination (which I had assumed to be another UTI, since I had gotten them often in the past while in a monogamous bf-gf relationship), i had no symptoms.  Be scared and USE CONDOMS and have open communication with your partner(s).  Don’t be shy or embarrassed to ask them about their sexual history, or to both get tested before you bone.. your health is at stake.  I’m just taking this as a huge lesson to always use condoms, or stick with one partner that i can trust to be completely honest with me the moment he starts boning another girl.  And though you’d think that this whole ordeal would be a COMPLETE buzz kill to my “Woooooo life is AWESOME and I’m LIVIN’ it!” outlook, I’m just going to take it as a giant learning experience and be ever-so-thankful that I didn’t catch something gnarly.  Particular Guy was very cool about the whole thing and I am DEFINITELY looking forward to humping his brains out as soon as our 2-week abstinence period is over.  But the amazing sex that we had last week really should tide me over for at least a week, maybe a week and a half.  It was gooooooooood…..

[EDIT: It has been a week and I'm already horny again.  DAMN ME, and damn this mandatory abstinence crap!!]

-the incurable flirt

Cyber sex isn’t dead

When I’m bored, I am prone to doing something like… oh, post my AIM screenname on Craigslist.  For what purpose?  Well, just to talk to people, to become un-bored, or to maybe talk dirty if I’ve a mind for it.

So, not that long ago, I posted my AIM screenname (and for those of you interested, it’s x3muse) and asked men to talk to me — about anything.  I refused to flash pictures, simply because I like to keep my private life and my blogger life separate.  There is, however, one youngster I opted to give a sneak peek to.  I’m not sure why I felt compelled to, but who needs an excuse to be in the mood?

So my imagination ran off and wrote this up over IM:

You know how I’d want to fuck you the first time?  I’d want to come over dressed like someone that would be in class with you.  I’d want to wear crotchless panties under a skirt – a demure, innocent looking skirt.  And I’d want you to start off sweet, before working to a grind.  I’d want to take off your clothes, run my hand over your chest and down to the waist of your pants.  I’d undo your buckle, and undo your pants, then while kissing you, I’d run my hands over your stomach and play with the elastic band of your boxers… maybe I’d drop a hand to feel your hard on over your boxers.  And when my mouth was on your neck, I’d want to dip my hand into your shorts and take hold of you.  I’d want to push you into a bed, and take your hand and place it between my legs.  I’d want you to feel my heat and my wetness… I’d want you to stroke me there, make me moan… make me grip your cock harder… I’d want you to slip a finger into my pussy… test its wetness… and I’d want you to bring your hand to my face and let me lick myself off your finger…

And that’s as far as I got before he blew.  In the meantime, I already had my vibe going and was a happy camper, letting my thoughts get me worked up.

For some reason, I’ve noticed that ever since I got involved with the Kid, it’s made me want to hump more than ever.  Even my self-loving has picked up over the last few nights.  My imagination is often sparked, and I’m making more frequent trips to online porn sites.

I really need to find a way to satisfy this lust.  It’s getting to a point where I’m saying things like I need a sex slave and If disease wasn’t something to worry about, I’d be a huge slut. I assume it’s just my hormones running rampant again, but who’s to say?

Anyone wanna fuck?

Sigh…

-A.

[edit]

P.S. I realize it sounded like he was a one minute man, but he insists that he’s a “two minute man”.  He was stroking himself for several minutes before i let my imagination run off with my fingers… just to clarify things.

[/edit]

I’m just going to admit it…

I have been super horny all day long, and I’ve been really craving some rough loving.  In fact, I had this conversation with TIF earlier today, while we were both at work:

me: I’m really craving dirty sex right now.  Like, dirrrty.  Like, abuse me.
TIF: hahahaha.  I got that last night.  rawr!
me: maybe I’m reading too much TBK
TIF: LOL
me: I mean, I want NO control.  I control everything else in my life, but it’s not that i want to be hit or anything.
TIF: you want to be filthy.  hahahaha
me: but i want to be out of my mind with lust and i want to be used to the point where it almost fucking hurts.
TIF: that’s the kinda chemistry i have with Particular Guy which is why i drive all the way over there
me: I’m saying  pull my hair… slap my ass, and drive into me without stopping, you fucking asshole. UGH, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
TIF: hahahaa i swear that’s what i get every time and it’s awesome.  lol
me: haha. My ex [the Rebel] was like that, and if I wasn’t happy, he wasn’t done.
TIF: like i said.. the bruises are worth it.  hahaha
me: which is kinda why im like, fuuuuck.  Especially when he called.  I don’t know if the Kid has the stamina to keep up with me.  And I’m even worse NOW because I’m getting a taste, but I’m not finishing up these sessions like, spent, you know?
TIF: yea, because normally when I visit Particular Guy, we go at it. Break. Then, go at it again.
me: EXACTLY.  Shit, I miss it.

-A.